repercussions based on their sexual scripts, the choices they make are more reflective of which outcome women view to be the lesser of two evils.
In congruence with these findings, Masters et al. (2013) found that the more women conformed to traditional sexual scripts, the less sexually satisfied they were compared to their equally conforming male counterparts. Although many women reported that an orgasm is not the most critical aspect of their own sexual satisfaction (Salisbury & Fisher, 2014), Laan & Rellini (2011) found that women who have a more difficult time reaching orgasm are more likely to regard it as less important to sexual satisfaction, whereas women who frequently orgasm during intercourse are more likely to see it as an essential part of intercourse. This is parallel to Salisbury & Fisher’s (2014) findings that having an orgasm is highly important to men during intercourse precisely because it is an expectation. One participant even reported that he “wouldn’t consider it sex” without an orgasm. Because men may experience orgasm in up to 91 percent of their sexual encounters, it is not unreasonable to conclude that similar expectations and value of orgasm could increase for women if they achieved it at a similar frequency as men. It is also not unreasonable to think, based on these findings, that when women elevate the importance of orgasm and have similar feelings of entitlement, it might enhance feelings of agency, particularly in voicing their desires to their partners.
In underscoring the importance of communicating desires to one’s partner, Blunt-Vinti et al. (2018) found that many women emphasized sexual self-awareness as a way to improve sexual satisfaction. Women also reported that men can only become aware of their female partners’ sexual desires if women are first aware themselves of what satisfies them and communicate those desires effectively. While this may seem like an obvious point of clarification, it is necessary to reiterate the power of sexual scripts informing women that taking charge of their own sexual pleasure goes against the sexual script, which can result in feelings of shame when trying to discover for themselves what is sexually satisfying.
Although only one out of thirty participants using the word “masturbation,” several other women stressed the importance of women “knowing themselves” and “experimenting themselves” before communicating their desires to their partners (Blunt-Vinti, et al.2014). But aside from communicating likes and dislikes directly and “without hesitation,” women emphasized the importance of expressing desire to try new things and things they specifically do not consent to, which may differ from general dislikes. Only a couple of participants shifted the narrative where they addressed how direct, verbal communication can be difficult for women, especially in the moment, and how tone is critical when doing so to avoid hurting your partner’s feelings. Some participants discussed the importance of positive sexual education to enhance sexual satisfaction, one of them citing a college course that helped inform her of what is personally satisfying (Blunt-Vinti, et al. 2014). Warshowsky et al. (2020) had similar findings relating the effects of education on sexual satisfaction. Students enrolled in a human sexuality course that specifically covered the “orgasm gap,” or the disparity between men and women’s frequency of orgasm, showed improvements in sexual functioning, particularly the female participants. These findings are suggestive that positive sexual education can improve sexual functioning and satisfaction for women.
An extensive meta-analysis by Mallory (2021) found a strong positive association between sexual communication and sexual relationship satisfaction. When controlling for… TURN PAGE >>
